One thing everyone can agree on is that we could all benefit from a good discussion on how to invest in our mental and physical well-being. Taking time for yourself care is crucial in today’s fast-paced world.
Beyond This Week’s Worldly Events
Amid all the worldly events that have happened this week, this month marks my quarterly PET scan, dermatology exam, mammogram, and monthly oncology appointment. Yes, I have quite the medical lineup this month. For those battling cancer or who have faced it in the past, you likely understand the anxiety that accompanies each appointment and test. My own misconception about this battle with cancer was that it would get easier with time. However, I’ve found that while the initial stages may come with a sense of naivety, the more seasoned you become as a warrior, the more aware and anxious you feel.
To me, battling cancer feels like walking across a floor filled with trap doors; you never know if one will open, causing you to fall, or if this time they will all remain securely locked, allowing you to continue your journey across the room. It’s as if cancer steals away your confidence and security in life, requiring significant effort and determination to stay positive and avoid falling into negative thought patterns. Before my journey on the C-train, I never worried about what tomorrow might bring; I simply loved my life and planned for the future. Now, on the C-train, you never know where the train is headed, how long it will stay at one platform versus another, and you hesitate to buy a ticket for the connecting train because you just never know. However, on the flip side of the coin you realize the importance of focusing on your priorities and making the most of each day.
Becoming More Aware with Age
If my older self could share a few insights with my younger self, the first would emphasize the importance of taking care of myself. Even typing that feels selfish, but the significant life lesson I’ve learned is that when I don’t take care of myself, I can’t effectively care for others. It’s like the airplane safety tip: “Put your oxygen mask on before assisting others.”
The second lesson I’d share is to enjoy the ice cream, cake, or whatever treats your heart desires, within your financial and health limits. My younger self cared too much about looks and superficial things, while this battle-weary version of me is learning (still a work in progress) to focus less on vanity and more on what truly matters in life.
My third tidbit is perhaps one of the most important: take the time to love the people you care about most in your life and always ensure they are your number one priority. Looking back, I realize that I don’t care about working late, delivering a great briefing, or winning an award. None of that matters if you don’t have your loved ones around to celebrate and enjoy those moments with you. My older self would tell my younger self to get up from my desk, go pick up my baby girl, and head home instead of working right up until the last possible moment to collect her from daycare.
Another crucial piece of advice my older self would give to my younger self is to live in the present. Tomorrow is not promised, and honestly, until you are in tomorrow, it really doesn’t matter. Live where you are and enjoy life to the fullest. Never take a day for granted or wish it away. Let me stop there and recommend you continue to join me for future blog posts, as I likely have at least ten more lessons to share in the future. For now, let’s focus on life lesson #1: Taking Care of Yourself.
Regarding my younger self, I can safely say I was not good at taking care of myself. To clarify, I excelled at superficial self-care—getting my hair dyed and my nails done—but I didn’t take the time to truly enjoy life as I should have. My older self still indulges in those superficial activities when I can and want to, but now I focus much more on things that keep me healthy (both mentally and physically) and things that bring me joy.
Nature Time – Similar to Hammer Time, but Better!
One of the first recommendations I have for self-care is spending time in nature. Research shows that time spent outdoors can improve your overall health. For me, this time outdoors comes in the form of regular walks or runs. Living in the National Capital Region, we have some fantastic hiking spots nearby, though I don’t always have the time to take advantage of them—something I wish I could change.
I absolutely love being outside. There’s something invigorating about walking, running, or even playing in my garden. Given the nature of my health challenges, I’ve had to find safer ways to enjoy the outdoors, which required some adjustments, but the time spent outside is worth it. Even a short walk is better than no walk at all. Get outside, enjoy your surroundings, and feel the soft breeze on your face or the sun on your back. I’m outdoors year-round; in winter, I love the cold air on my face—it’s a natural way to wake up your body. In summer, nothing beats a late evening walk. So, here’s my first challenge: find a way to get outside and enjoy the calming nature of the outdoors.
Exercise Does A Body Good
The second recommendation relates to the first: find time to exercise. Whether it’s a walk outdoors, a swim, or lifting weights at the gym, get moving! Research has proven that exercise is beneficial for your body. Sitting behind a desk or lounging on the couch is not good for you; we were meant to move, so make it happen. Even during my most challenging health battles, I made a pact to do something active each day. Sometimes that meant walking only around the cul-de-sac, while other times it involved taking all the stairs at Walter Reed instead of using the elevator. Bottom line: if I can challenge myself, so can you. Start small and work your way up. If you’re not ready to take my first recommendation, consider going to the mall and walking around the stores. There are countless health benefits to exercise
Juicing All the Way
My next recommendation relates to food. I’m not a foodie; I often joke that I only eat to survive. I’ll eat almost anything, and it brings me no joy or unhappiness—it’s merely a means of survival. So, if that’s how I feel, why is this a recommendation? This recommendation is not about the joy of eating, but rather the health advantages to consuming the right things. I’m focusing on eating healthier” instead of “healthy.” Healthier allows for some indulgence when you need or want it. You need to find what works for you, but here are two things I enjoy.
When I first got sick, I researched how certain foods could help in battling cancer. One of the first things I started doing was juicing. I know it’s not for everyone but hear me out—I’ve been on a juicing journey, and I’m here to share my insights. First, you need to find the best juicer for you. I recently started using a Nama Juicer 2 (https://namawell.com), and it’s truly amazing. I love my Nama almost as much as I love my momma! Why? Because I no longer spend time cutting up veggies and fruits; I can fill the top container with apples and walk away. Yes, walk away! It’s an investment, but the time I save in prep and cleaning is worth every penny.
Here’s why I love juicing: you know when you have extra fruits and veggies in your refrigerator that aren’t quite past their prime but aren’t as fresh as you’d like? Instead of tossing them in the trash, I turn them into juice. Juicing helps cut down on waste and is a fantastic way to get a lot of vitamins easily. Think about it: I can drink far more fruits and veggies than I can eat. Plus, fresh juice travels well, so I can take my healthy habits on the go. I usually make a batch of juice and store it in mason jars in my fridge, ready to roll when I am.
Another thing I enjoy is finding recipes that are low in sugar and healthy, using items I already have at home. The internet is full of amazing recipes—take advantage of them! For example, if you have bananas that are going bad, consider making a healthy banana bread or chocolate chip cookies that use bananas as the main sweetener instead of sugar. Get creative and find ways to reduce food waste while making cooking adventurous and healthier.
Sleeping Beauty
This is one area where my younger self needed a wake-up call. From my 30s to my mid-40s, I regularly got five or fewer hours of sleep a night. It was ridiculous and unnecessary! My older self has come to appreciate the beauty of good sleep. I can tell you that this is a game changer for your health, and it’s been backed by research. If you have trouble falling asleep, here are a few tips:
1. Practice good sleep hygiene. This means using your bed solely for sleep, not as an office or a place to scroll through your phone.
2. Engage in calming activities before bed.I enjoy reading, meditation, stretching, and light yoga.
3. Listen to soothing music or a boring documentary to help lull you to sleep. This is not the time to catch up on your favorite show. I fall asleep with earbuds in, as I’m a light sleeper, and this helps block out small noises. I listen to the same boring documentary repeatedly to train my body to fall asleep when it hears it.
4. Use an eye mask. My desire for this stems from my time deployed, where I slept in pitch-black rooms. Now, even the smallest light can wake me up, so this helps improve my sleep routine.
5. Consider a weighted blanket. These aren’t for everyone, but I love mine and have had some of my best sleep under it.
These are just five strategies that work for me. I do what I need to because I now understand the importance of a good night’s sleep. And a final note on sleep: short naps can be amazing! I know this isn’t always feasible, but if you can, take advantage of them.
Play Like You Were Young and Liked to Have Fun
This recommendation is entirely driven by what you love to do. For me, I enjoy crafting, being artistic, and snuggling with my pup. You might find joy in dancing around the room or singing your favorite song loudly in the car. Here’s the bottom line: figure out what you love and make time for it, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day. If daily isn’t feasible, aim for at least a few days a week. You deserve to have fun like you did when you were a kid, so make it happen!
Spend Time with Friends and Family
Make time to be around those you love. No one has a better life by living in solitude. Take a walk with a family member (now you’re combining my recommendations) or enjoy a coffee with a friend. Trust me when I say there’s nothing better than building your circle of support, and nothing strengthens it more than fellowship with others. You warm each other’s hearts, and in the process, you might even solve a few world issues along the way.
Two More Recommendations to Go
My second-to-last recommendation ties into my previous post on vulnerability (https://reflectionsbykj.com/my-recommendation-a-piece-of-vulnerable-pie/). Here’s me being a bit more vulnerable: it’s perfectly okay to seek professional help if you need it. When I was first diagnosed with cancer, I was coming off a particularly rough military assignment. Between these two major life events, I decided it was time to talk to someone. I found a counselor and mental health professional and set up an appointment. Without going into all the details, I can say this: it’s okay to talk to someone, and you’ll be amazed at how much it can help. Some days, my counselor and I would work through a lot together, while on other days, I’d spend hours before the appointment trying to figure out what to discuss. Regardless, I always leave feeling better about myself, my situation, and equipped with strategies to tackle any current or future challenges. When I first went, I was barely sleeping, and my counselor helped me develop a strategy that worked for me. Mental health and counseling are no longer as stigmatized as they once were, and we should continue to normalize seeking help. Imagine if everyone in the world had someone to talk to and work through their problems with.
My Final Recommendation
This recommendation may not resonate with everyone, but it’s worth mentioning take time for a massage, a facial, a trip to the chiropractor, an appointment with a physical therapist, or whatever your body needs. I prioritize a monthly massage because, between the cancer medications and my busy lifestyle, my body needs relief from soreness and stress, while also ensuring proper blood flow through my muscles. This recommendation encourages you to think about what your body needs physically. How can you take better care of yourself and, ultimately, your physical well-being?
My Charge to You!
After reading this post, you might have a few different thoughts. You might think, “I already knew that,” “I do some of that,” or “None of this will help me.” All of those thoughts are valid, but ultimately, I hope I’ve achieved my goal: to encourage you to consider how you can take better care of yourself. So, whether you take some, none, or all of my recommendations, please remember to prioritize your well-being.
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