A Day in the Life of a Real-Life Mom Drives This Vulnerable Recommendation
This entry was delayed due to a bit of blogger’s block. I struggled to decide on a fun topic to dive into this week. I initially planned to focus on “Fun Fall” or “Vacation Lifestyle,” but then real life hit me like a brick wall today.
As a newly retired stay-at-home mom and wife, I’m learning to manage my calendar in new ways. Now that my life is no longer dictated by work schedules and deadlines I’ve had to change my ways. By “learning,” I mean I’m trying to balance meeting up with friends, volunteering, tackling housework and chores I’ve put off for the last 22+ years, taking on new hobbies, working out to avoid slipping into an “old retiree” body, and managing day-to-day events for my husband and daughter. Today was supposed to be my first full day this week with nothing on my calendar. The day to allow me to focus entirely on my “to-do list.”
Well, by 9 a.m., I realized my day was already off track. It was teeing up to be a day where the universe was not on my side. My fun day of working out, crafting, finishing a few open projects, and writing a blog entry was being diverted to other things, people, and places. Now, as I sit here writing this blog at 11 p.m. instead of earlier in the day, I can safely say the day fell out of my control—not in a major way, but in a very real-life way. Here’s where the vulnerability pie begins, so get your fork ready to dive in.
Real-Life Hits:
By “real-life way,” I mean a day where your husband needs you as a sounding board, your teenage daughter calls you upset over something you tried to warn her about, and the dog pees on the floor. All of this while your anxiety levels are already high because you have body scans next week to check on the status of your cancer battle. It’s the kind of day that makes it clear life is not as perfect as we often portray, leaving one feeling vulnerable.
Wouldn’t life be easier if we all showed a little more vulnerability and shared our trials and tribulations with each other? In the age of social media, it seems we love to present our lives as something they are not. What do I mean by that? We will absolutely post pictures of our night out at an NBA game or our daughter’s induction into the National Honor Society, but we rarely share images or comments about the dog peeing on the floor, how our child is struggling, or how marriage can sometimes be hard. The truth is real life—the life outside of social media—is not all rainbows and butterflies.
Some Real-Life Examples
Recently, I spoke with a few friends who were facing life-altering situations. During our conversations, it was clear my friends were uncomfortable, yet they were incredibly open and vulnerable with me. When they finished sharing, I immediately chimed in, “Yes, I’ve been in a similar situation in my marriage” or “Yes, I think counseling is helpful, and I’ve been going for a few years now.”
Last week, a friend who is also battling cancer posted a vulnerable message on social media for educational purposes. She discussed how hard it is to fight day in and day out. The post reflected how often people say, “But you look great!” yet it’s important to understand that cancer consumes her thoughts and robs her of joy. She shared how often she feels the need to put on a façade. Today, I felt like I had to wear that façade because others needed me. However, as I reflect on my day, I realize that perhaps a façade is not the best way to approach life, and that vulnerability might serve me and my health better.
Call to Vulnerability Action!
Why am I advocating for vulnerability? Let’s normalize imperfection and drop the façade! How about we share more openly so our friends don’t struggle in silence until they muster the courage to share their situations with us? Let’s make those “hit you like a brick wall” days normal, so they don’t hurt as much when they happen. Be open and share with friends. How about we shift our focus from striving for perfection and competing with our neighbors to supporting and listening to one another? Imagine how much easier it would be to navigate everyday life if we felt safe sharing our tough moments with friends. It truly takes a village to conquer life at all ages, so let’s do life together and be vulnerable.
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